Update

Well.. this is going to be long. Oh well :) Okay so like my birthday was Feb.4 and I went out with the friends. Best day ever but ever since that day it's been boring. The thing that's been on my mind for like ever is that I honestly only have one best friend at school that I enjoy talking to. That's not a good thing considering she has other friends to talk to so I feel quite lonely. I have two friends that I could still talk to but one of them just ignores you so like it's hard to talk to her. I realized back in the day (last year) I was wayy more outgoing and talked way too much! Now I never do. I don't know wassup but it's weird. Sometimes I feel like nobody cares about me, they all stare at me like I'm a freak and they all say I'm a quite girl. Well, obviously I'm aware of that. I just don't know what to talk about people! I barely know you so it's kinna hard. Maybe you should talk to me and I can think of something to say! I don't always have to start a conversation. Gosh, people they make me mad. It's akward to because they've all known me since 5th grade i don't know why they treat me like a new kid. I had a bunch of friends last year but they alll got into drama with my best friend so I had no choice but to leave them. None of them talk to me anymore since, except this one girl but all she does is waves and asks me if I'm going to our churchs small group. It's like, don't you remeber me? You can have a desent conversation I don't bite. The others just give me dirty looks now when I've done nothing wrong. I also feel uber senstive because if I ever complain about something that bothers me, my responses are always oh my god your so senstive get over it! Sorry, that's how I feel.. Highschool is freaking me out. If I had my personality and old self as back then highschool probably wouldn't be scary to me right now. But since I've changed I feel like I'm not gonna make any friends especially since I went to the Future Freshman Night and they alll gave me dirty looks to and they honestly (not trying to be judgemental) but they all look like snobby brats. They all teeze there hair like snookie and wear booty shorts. Sorry hun, I'm not a slut. So it's gonnna be hard to make friends with them. I know one girl that I recently hung out with that's going there but I highly doubt I'm gonna see her at all during the day considering theres like 1,000 freshman. 1 to 1,000 yeah very UNLIKELY. That's really it. Feels good to let it all out since most of my friends wouldn't care if I repeated this to them or even my parents. Always put your words in writing so you can show expression. I love you :)
-Payson