Friends nowadays

Why do you always wanna hurt me? Why do you always wanna make me feel worthless? Why do you want to make me feel like crap? Aren't you my friend? What's worst is I havent been mean at all. Whenever your nice is very infrequently. When your fun is when your hyper, which is not often. When your mean, your mean most of the time. Honestly in done with it because you don't even feel like my friend anymore. Instead of encouraging me you put me down. Now you feel like my enemy, not my friend. I try to be nice as possible. Your such a perfectionists that when I correct you in the politest way possible you instantly get mad. Whats so hard about being nice to me? Or why can't you ever complement me? You do that to everybody else. I thought we were best friends. Maybe some of it's me but ive never been mean. If you don't compliment me because I don't compliment you then why do you do it to other people when they haven't ether? Why is it I'm always scared of what to say to you because you may get mad? When were in fights, why do you yell at the top of your lungs and treat me like your enemy right away? Why is it so hard to work things out? I don't wanna say goodbye to you but your pulling my last string. I'll always remember our memories but you have way too many issues thats making us drift apart. I'm sorry, highschools around the corner so we'll find new friends. So for now I'll let you step on me all you want until then.

Sick and tired off this crap

Okay so like I guess I'm only noticed at school and everywhere else as the shy "quite girl" and it honestly is pissing me off! No one takes intrest in to talking to me so I don't talk to them. It's like um why do you honestly even give a crap about me. And plus people at school tell my best friend like, "why do you hang out with her if she doesn't even talk?" Omg this just hit me, everyone at my stinkin school I've known since 5th grade and I was very outgoing so obviously I have somewhat of a personality maybe it's my hormones idk people aha. But yeah Um we talk smart alack, if we didn't we obviously wouldn't be friends... I don't normally talk to her at school because she ignores me when she talks to her other friends. I honestly want to get my act straight and talk to people but I don't have "social skills" as you would put it so I have no idea what the heck I'm suppose to say so im truly sorry! The only thing people say to me is, oh i like your shirt, or oh I like you necklace. Um that's nice of you but, idk thanks? I sorta think people don't take intrest in me because I'm not pretty. I don't think I'm ugly I'm just not as pretty as my friends I guess. Ughhh! I feel like such a loser right now it's not even funny. I just wanna tell people to shut up because they don't even say it to my face like why are you so quite? Well some people do and I'll respond like idk what to freaking say and some just ask my friends like wow that's the first time I've heard her talk. Wow, okay then it's probably because someone took intrest into talking to me or asked or told me something. So, hmm maybe you should do that too and I'll talk alot! I hate everybody at my stupid freaking school. I swear I want to punch everyone for always talking crap behind my back because I'm quite. Move on with your life and don't worry about me. Obviously people talk, they have too. So if your reading this and you know a "quite girl" at your school. TALK TO THEM! It's not that hard honestly. Because there thinking exactly what I'm thinking. Be there friend, it will make there day like seriously. Well bye now.
-Pissed of Payson :) Ahahahaha.

Creativity

Senseful spring on a twilight evening is where I'd like to be. Sitting in the bright shiny grass, barefoot. Looking at the sky and I'll i see are stars, stars that glim kind of like the sparkle in your eye when I look at you. That's where I'd like to be. Perfection, beautiful pefection gazing into my dime blue eyes as I stare in curiosity. My oh my would I like to be there. You see dreams, faitytales, fantasies are all creativity. We use our them to describe specific details we want to think about, where we want to be. I think if you combine your dreams, fairytales, and fantasies, you'll make something brilliant, something unique. That's why I love writing stories or thoughts when I'm bored or in need of a good expressing. That's it, goodnight, god bless, and have sweet wonderful dreams. With love and care, Payson. :)

Update

Well.. this is going to be long. Oh well :) Okay so like my birthday was Feb.4 and I went out with the friends. Best day ever but ever since that day it's been boring. The thing that's been on my mind for like ever is that I honestly only have one best friend at school that I enjoy talking to. That's not a good thing considering she has other friends to talk to so I feel quite lonely. I have two friends that I could still talk to but one of them just ignores you so like it's hard to talk to her. I realized back in the day (last year) I was wayy more outgoing and talked way too much! Now I never do. I don't know wassup but it's weird. Sometimes I feel like nobody cares about me, they all stare at me like I'm a freak and they all say I'm a quite girl. Well, obviously I'm aware of that. I just don't know what to talk about people! I barely know you so it's kinna hard. Maybe you should talk to me and I can think of something to say! I don't always have to start a conversation. Gosh, people they make me mad. It's akward to because they've all known me since 5th grade i don't know why they treat me like a new kid. I had a bunch of friends last year but they alll got into drama with my best friend so I had no choice but to leave them. None of them talk to me anymore since, except this one girl but all she does is waves and asks me if I'm going to our churchs small group. It's like, don't you remeber me? You can have a desent conversation I don't bite. The others just give me dirty looks now when I've done nothing wrong. I also feel uber senstive because if I ever complain about something that bothers me, my responses are always oh my god your so senstive get over it! Sorry, that's how I feel.. Highschool is freaking me out. If I had my personality and old self as back then highschool probably wouldn't be scary to me right now. But since I've changed I feel like I'm not gonna make any friends especially since I went to the Future Freshman Night and they alll gave me dirty looks to and they honestly (not trying to be judgemental) but they all look like snobby brats. They all teeze there hair like snookie and wear booty shorts. Sorry hun, I'm not a slut. So it's gonnna be hard to make friends with them. I know one girl that I recently hung out with that's going there but I highly doubt I'm gonna see her at all during the day considering theres like 1,000 freshman. 1 to 1,000 yeah very UNLIKELY. That's really it. Feels good to let it all out since most of my friends wouldn't care if I repeated this to them or even my parents. Always put your words in writing so you can show expression. I love you :)
-Payson