Effing parents these days ..

Soooo , my parents think it's cute cute when they treat me like I'm 5 & I need to be protected at all times . Kay I get it , you love me and you just want the best for me blah blah freaking blah . Yeeeah I get it , your way more experienced then I am IDGAF kk ? I am WAY more mature & smarter then I have ever been so why give me l e s s freedom , makes no sense . It's like you shouldn't be wanting your kid to despretely be 18 you should be giving them the life you never had or at least make it good while their kids . When your 18 your legally an adult & I don't wanna grow up ! I want to live my childhood to the fullest & with them giving me absolutely NO freedom , hows that gonna work out ? Since my idiotic brother got into drugs & is living with his girlfriend , they assume I'm gonna automatically end up the same ? Your stupid . Girls are WAAAAAY more mature then guys this age will ever be . I'm smart , I get A's and B's . I'm nooot duummmbb , get that through your effing heeeads ! Your just making me want to end up like him because they don't give to effs about it really there just like danget our first kid didn't turn out so great we need to make our 2nd child this freak who stays at home at all times making sure her grades are perfect so they don't have to say BOTH their kids ended up having no lifes ? SCREW YOOOOU . To best honest , this makes me HATE them . For one , school is my ONLY get away from these shitholes . I can't do shit over the weekends & if I can it has to be with one of my 'new' friends & something church related . I'm sorry I don't like any of my new friends ? There forcing me SO much into getting involved that there gonna start taking away my Facebook & shut down my phone . I wanna run away soooooo bad you have no idea . I'm so sick of them . Back then , in the good old days when nothing went wrong , I actually loved them because I never really saw them . It was always , go to school , come home , hang out with my friends , and then eat dinner . So technically I only talked to them during dinner cause anytime I didn't have at school , I was out of the house . & Noow when I'm older & should be having a lot more freedom , I get less instead . This experience definetly shows me how I'm going to treat my kids . There gonna have freedom but there also gonna have boundaries . I will make sure they get good grades but I sure as hell aint gonna MAKE them get invovled like these shitheads are doing because OH if your not involved your gonna go to drugs . YOUR STUPID END OF EFFING STORY . If your a parent & your reading this thinking 'wow this kid is crazy' EVERY teenager thinks like this . & If you do the same thing , stooop . Your gonna make them get into drugs . If your on their good side & your close with your kids they will tell you everything . Because I use to do that to my parents but see where it got me ? Never doing it again . So if you don't do what my parents are doing your kids will tell you a lot more so you know what's going on with their lives . My brother NEVER told them anything that went on but yet they still don't trust me ? They let him do absolutely anything so o b v i o u s l y hes gonna do whatever . Unfortunetly I will never get into drugs & I am not influenced or tempted to ever do so . Like GOD why did you make my parents idiotic retards ? LISTEN TO YOUR KIDS THEIR NOT STUPID .

Ehh ..

Todaaay was bored af . Church tonight if my friend goes but I'm sick of just sitting at home all day it feels like forever for a day to end , that's why I hate weekends now but hopefully I won't be spending next weekend alone . Winter break is like , what , 5 weeks away ? As long as I spend it with friends and not at home doing nothing I will obviously like it but if not I do not want it to come . I actually like school to be honest . It gives me time with my friends & all my classes are super easy . But that's mainly because I don't have Science and Social studies right now & those are my weakest strengths . Next semester which right after winter break , I have Intergrated Science which is like a repeat of 8th grade Science , so I'm pretty sure it's gonna be an easy class considering the teachers are way better than the ones I had . The only thing I don't look forward to at school is P.E because I hate running with a passion but other than that it's pretty fun because right now were playing batmitten I don't know how to spell that & it's no where near tiring so yeah . Oioeheiorhsghleilerhgeoirggeihibg , I'M SO BORED . Like someday I will die of boredom lemme tell ya . I just wanna sleeep bro . Whateeeeeever , I neeed effing friends that live by me cause I hate staying in this one story hooouse ! Anywaaays , hopefully you guys have had a good day unlike muah . Byee , xoxox .

Insecurities .

Kaaay so there's this thing that's been on YouTube for like ever & I feel like doing it mainly because I'm bored & my flaws are the number one thing I'm struggling with right now . Sooo , it's called 'My Perfect Imperfections Tag' & all it is , is you have to state three things you dislike about yourself , also known as your 'imperfections' & then state three things you DO like about yourself , your 'perfections' . & I have WAAAY more imperfections than three & less 'perfections' than three . Starting off with my imperfections or flaws is my forhead . Yeah , everyones like shut up your forhead isn't even big , IT IS . Like obviously your telling me that because your my friend . & then they'll say stuff like if you were ugly , I would tell you that . Uhm , no you wouldn't ? Ahaha . But anyways , my second imperfection would have to be .. probably my eye size . I think their porportionate to my face in a way but everyone lately has been like saying I have 'chinky' eyes & then this one guy was like 'are you chinese in any way' like w t f ? NO ? But yeeeah . My last imperfection would have to be my lips . Idk , there tiny & they have this like white outline around the top of them & it's like weird . But yeeah . OH AND BTW I WOULD KEEL TO HAVE LONG EYELASHES . In the end , if I just didn't have this freaking huge anis forhead I would probably be one concieted motha effa . Ahahaha , like no joke . ANYWAYS , now I'm gonna state the three things I like about myself. Kay first thing would be my eye color because well there blue .. everyone's like what ? You have blue eyes ?! When there no where near any other color but yeah lmao . There kind of gray in a way but when I look in the sun their like bright blue . My second 'perfection' would probably have to be how I don't gain weight . I actually have a big butt but I don't really have boobs . I weigh about 105 pounds & I'm a freshman ahah . Some guys have said 'are you anorexic or bulimic?' & I'm like N O ! ? & you shouldn't even be saying that type of stuff because people really do struggle with that disorder & what if I actually was ? That would be saad like you know ? My third 'perfection' would have to be ..... hm , probably my height ? Idk I'm like 5"2' so yeah . Mostly girls hate that height cause people mistake them for a 12 year old but I honestly don't care cause guys like short girls . But it's not like I love that , I just don't know anything else I like about myself to be honest . Oooh I forgot , I like my smile ! Cause you know I had braces so their perfectly straight & I've used the crest white strips & so their pretty white (; LMAO , well just stay positive , stay beautiful , & be that confident person who doesn't care what other people think , kay ? Love you xoxox .

Seriously?

Last weeek I FINALLY started to like highschool & noow all the sudden the only friend I actually like at that school is leaving and today was her last day. Of course I figured this out at lunch time. & then I had to go to photo after school to do an assignment I was behind on & I failed on that & now I have a soar throaat. C l e a r l y I can't just enjoy my life, It has to be a freaking roller coaster. Watch something good will happen next week and then something bad will happen the next. I'm sick of thiiiis, I swear. Whatever I guess.

I dunnno bro.

This is random because I have a headache & I'm boooooored. Today was no school because of Labor Daay, & it was pretty laaame. My wife for life left at like 10 30 in the morning cause she hates being at my house that much, ahaha jaykaay idk why she wanted to leave. Soo, I went out for lunch & then saw The Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, looooooong name. They should of called it Planet of The Apes cause thats shorter (x Sooo since schools tomorrow I have mixed feelings if I wanna go or not, not like I have a choice but yeeah. I just still keeep missing my old life or maybe I just miss 8th grade. Buuut yeeah, I want it to go back SO bad if anything. All my closet friends live there and now I only get to see them every other weekend. Which really sucks cause I can't talk to my friends at school about anything. Like no one at my highschool I'm good friends with & I don't like any guys there really. But whaaatever I just need to stay positive & blessed for what I've got. Daaang, small groups for church needs to start back up because I REALLY need jesus during the week too because weekends don't cut it for me -.- Plus it's another place I can go to see my friends too Annnywaays, I'm go now bye bye.

15 random facts about me d;

1. Singing is the only thing that can keep me smiling (:
2. I looove ice cream . I would have it for all 3 meals if I coould<3
3. I'm like really wanting a boyfriend -___-
4. I am super shy because I hate going out of my comfort zone .
5. I want to go to a highschool where I know more than 5 people . . .
6. 6 pack, blue eyes<3, & shaggy hair are what I look for in guys (;
7. I am insecure & imperfect .
8. If your nice, I loove you (:
9. I absolutely adore photography .
10. I enjoy doing make up, like eye shadow & such .
11. I also like to do haair.
12. My friends & family mean the world to me (:
13. I LOVE Jesus Christ < 3
14. Give me a buffet of food, a tv remote, & some starbucks & I'm good to do (;
15. Oh how I love it when I get out of the shower, take my makeup off, & put my pj's on. It just makes me feel so clean & fresh (;

Updaate.

Woaah, haven't been on heere inna while. Well hairs died & braces are off. Life's ehh D: & Yeeah Highschools a commin'. Scaaaared, lemme tell ya. Like my level of scaredness would probably like saay your gonna have to get surgery, THAT scaared. Becaause like all the girls there seem stuck up sluts & I don't wanna be one to fit in. Welllll, it's whatever I guess. Chillen with a friiend & were about to wallk to a stoore. Borrring daay.

Toooday♥

So like today me and my giirl (no homo) walked to circle k and got like a french vanilla slushy thing, it was aiight. Then when we walked home n we pretended to "fake fight" so we were yelling and I was pushing her and we were on a sidewalk on the main road so everyboddy was staring, and this lil girl like 10 or 11 looking was walking by and staring and freakking out it was HILARIOUS. We just do that to put on a show for people to tell there loved ones when there driving back home and see there expressions xD And before that we stood up on these squares and shook our butts x) I know were pre' gee. THEN, we waved to alll the cars passing by and if they waved we said sweet and were happy but if they DIDN'T wave we screamed sour and were saad. But it was an equal amount of no waves and waves back. Oh, and at school we took pics and videos all day and played games it wass bommb. So you could say today was the B E S T Monday I've ever had!♥

Sick

Just watching tv, bored outa my mind :/ just a soar throat that's not getting any better. Had some long John silvers for lunch. Yup idk what to say now.

Bored

I'm bored so I made the decision to make another pointless but yet interesting blog. So like I'm suppose to go to the library right now but idddk. Tomorrow we have school off and I was actually pretty excited until I found out that I'm gonnna be spending it getting celants. They like CHOKE me with cotton balls I hate it. Oh my mommies calling me to go to the library now aha. Wow this was stupid. Well have a great day, choww!
-Paysonn

Food

Don't you just LOVE food?! I do ive got the hightest matabilism so I don gain ANYTHING! I eat like an obese person but yet I get made fun of for being "too" skinny. I find it quite funny if I say so myself. I mean I'm blessed I don't gain much because I'm healthy. I don't care if I have "chicken" legs. Phhst, I'm GLAD I have the legs I have. I dont want some cottage cheese legs like ew. Haha ;) I can eat desserts all day and not feel like a waste. I can eat junk food for weeks and feel as healthy as someone apposed to eating vegatables and excersiinh themselves. So yeah that's pretty much it :D

Summer '11

^ Yeah there's a picture I'm bored. Hmm, this summer should be pretty bombalishes. I'm dieing my hair back to medium brown, getting new glasses that would be pretty enough to wear all the time, and then braces are a commin' offf! Now that's dopeness right ther'e peeps. My plans for summer are going to be lazzziness, make songs, tannnning, swimming, wet'n'wild, disneyland?, beach? ;), preeety much what normal people do on summmer days. HAVE THE TIME OF THERE LIVES. Imm prolley gonna cry my eyes out on the last day of school for these reasons : I won't be seeing my friends at school ANYMORE like none of them are gooing to the highschoool I'm going because it's further away, I'm gonna have to work harder n' take school seriously :/. Plus my dad knows everybody at the highschool I'm going to so I'm gonna have to be the most goodie good, nice, and sweet girl ever or the teachers will tell him. And that's not my personality.. SO yeah Ihave a deeply strong enormous feeling lifes gonna suck. BUT, I know there's gonna be hot guys because I saw a lot on future freshman night, even thoe the stakes for getting one are very high considering every girl there are like way preettier than me and are big SLUTS and guys love that ;/ All I'm gonna focus on is how DOPE my summer is gonna be and we only have a month left of school so I am sooo happy. That's alll for tonight, peace.
-Paysssson.

I really don't know

^ I know, I said that because I really don't know what to say. I am bored to beyond the limit of extremism ;P I am eating a burrito as we speak, I am like in LOVE with buritos and tostada's (If thats how you spell it) I'm gonna name my kid Nosyap because it's my name backwards. Totally kidding that's an ugly name and hard to pronouce. I don't like white rice, it's plain and discusting. Ew I'm barfing thinking about it right now, haha. Beans, beans, in my tummy. Beans, beans, there so yummy, WORD. I can't rap. OMG moment, I love chocolate chip ice cream! Plain vanilla is my ice cream. I love black people named Vanilla I have no clue why though. But yeah chocolate ice creams okay it just has a weird taste to me. Everyone seems to love chocolate and think vanilla's plain, I love it to death. Well sorry for all the randomness. Byyyye♥

Hmm

. . . . . . . . . . .

Sup

Whats up? Lol

Food Poisining

Now, lemme tell you that food poisining sucks! Well I'm not sure that whatever I had is food poising but me and my mom ate this squash and she ate a little and I ate a lot and her stomache hurt and I actually threw up and my dad didn't eat the squash and he's perfectly fine so yeah. I threw up 5 times, and from doing so and not eating an entire day I lost a total of 6 pounds. I use to be 87 pounds now I'm 81 and I feeeel sooooo weak and light. I missed yesterday and today of school so yeahh I'm bored right now. Just drinking some sprite from church's chicken and typing on here. Idk what else to say but yeah, I HATE throwing up you cannot breathe and tastes sooo bad especially when you have braces it gets stucck ewwww. And yeah the throw up went in my nose so I was blowing it out for an hour. Good thing I forgot what throwing up felt like even though it was the night before last night but yeah. Anywayys, that's it.
-Byye.

Friends nowadays

Why do you always wanna hurt me? Why do you always wanna make me feel worthless? Why do you want to make me feel like crap? Aren't you my friend? What's worst is I havent been mean at all. Whenever your nice is very infrequently. When your fun is when your hyper, which is not often. When your mean, your mean most of the time. Honestly in done with it because you don't even feel like my friend anymore. Instead of encouraging me you put me down. Now you feel like my enemy, not my friend. I try to be nice as possible. Your such a perfectionists that when I correct you in the politest way possible you instantly get mad. Whats so hard about being nice to me? Or why can't you ever complement me? You do that to everybody else. I thought we were best friends. Maybe some of it's me but ive never been mean. If you don't compliment me because I don't compliment you then why do you do it to other people when they haven't ether? Why is it I'm always scared of what to say to you because you may get mad? When were in fights, why do you yell at the top of your lungs and treat me like your enemy right away? Why is it so hard to work things out? I don't wanna say goodbye to you but your pulling my last string. I'll always remember our memories but you have way too many issues thats making us drift apart. I'm sorry, highschools around the corner so we'll find new friends. So for now I'll let you step on me all you want until then.

Sick and tired off this crap

Okay so like I guess I'm only noticed at school and everywhere else as the shy "quite girl" and it honestly is pissing me off! No one takes intrest in to talking to me so I don't talk to them. It's like um why do you honestly even give a crap about me. And plus people at school tell my best friend like, "why do you hang out with her if she doesn't even talk?" Omg this just hit me, everyone at my stinkin school I've known since 5th grade and I was very outgoing so obviously I have somewhat of a personality maybe it's my hormones idk people aha. But yeah Um we talk smart alack, if we didn't we obviously wouldn't be friends... I don't normally talk to her at school because she ignores me when she talks to her other friends. I honestly want to get my act straight and talk to people but I don't have "social skills" as you would put it so I have no idea what the heck I'm suppose to say so im truly sorry! The only thing people say to me is, oh i like your shirt, or oh I like you necklace. Um that's nice of you but, idk thanks? I sorta think people don't take intrest in me because I'm not pretty. I don't think I'm ugly I'm just not as pretty as my friends I guess. Ughhh! I feel like such a loser right now it's not even funny. I just wanna tell people to shut up because they don't even say it to my face like why are you so quite? Well some people do and I'll respond like idk what to freaking say and some just ask my friends like wow that's the first time I've heard her talk. Wow, okay then it's probably because someone took intrest into talking to me or asked or told me something. So, hmm maybe you should do that too and I'll talk alot! I hate everybody at my stupid freaking school. I swear I want to punch everyone for always talking crap behind my back because I'm quite. Move on with your life and don't worry about me. Obviously people talk, they have too. So if your reading this and you know a "quite girl" at your school. TALK TO THEM! It's not that hard honestly. Because there thinking exactly what I'm thinking. Be there friend, it will make there day like seriously. Well bye now.
-Pissed of Payson :) Ahahahaha.

Creativity

Senseful spring on a twilight evening is where I'd like to be. Sitting in the bright shiny grass, barefoot. Looking at the sky and I'll i see are stars, stars that glim kind of like the sparkle in your eye when I look at you. That's where I'd like to be. Perfection, beautiful pefection gazing into my dime blue eyes as I stare in curiosity. My oh my would I like to be there. You see dreams, faitytales, fantasies are all creativity. We use our them to describe specific details we want to think about, where we want to be. I think if you combine your dreams, fairytales, and fantasies, you'll make something brilliant, something unique. That's why I love writing stories or thoughts when I'm bored or in need of a good expressing. That's it, goodnight, god bless, and have sweet wonderful dreams. With love and care, Payson. :)

Update

Well.. this is going to be long. Oh well :) Okay so like my birthday was Feb.4 and I went out with the friends. Best day ever but ever since that day it's been boring. The thing that's been on my mind for like ever is that I honestly only have one best friend at school that I enjoy talking to. That's not a good thing considering she has other friends to talk to so I feel quite lonely. I have two friends that I could still talk to but one of them just ignores you so like it's hard to talk to her. I realized back in the day (last year) I was wayy more outgoing and talked way too much! Now I never do. I don't know wassup but it's weird. Sometimes I feel like nobody cares about me, they all stare at me like I'm a freak and they all say I'm a quite girl. Well, obviously I'm aware of that. I just don't know what to talk about people! I barely know you so it's kinna hard. Maybe you should talk to me and I can think of something to say! I don't always have to start a conversation. Gosh, people they make me mad. It's akward to because they've all known me since 5th grade i don't know why they treat me like a new kid. I had a bunch of friends last year but they alll got into drama with my best friend so I had no choice but to leave them. None of them talk to me anymore since, except this one girl but all she does is waves and asks me if I'm going to our churchs small group. It's like, don't you remeber me? You can have a desent conversation I don't bite. The others just give me dirty looks now when I've done nothing wrong. I also feel uber senstive because if I ever complain about something that bothers me, my responses are always oh my god your so senstive get over it! Sorry, that's how I feel.. Highschool is freaking me out. If I had my personality and old self as back then highschool probably wouldn't be scary to me right now. But since I've changed I feel like I'm not gonna make any friends especially since I went to the Future Freshman Night and they alll gave me dirty looks to and they honestly (not trying to be judgemental) but they all look like snobby brats. They all teeze there hair like snookie and wear booty shorts. Sorry hun, I'm not a slut. So it's gonnna be hard to make friends with them. I know one girl that I recently hung out with that's going there but I highly doubt I'm gonna see her at all during the day considering theres like 1,000 freshman. 1 to 1,000 yeah very UNLIKELY. That's really it. Feels good to let it all out since most of my friends wouldn't care if I repeated this to them or even my parents. Always put your words in writing so you can show expression. I love you :)
-Payson